Responding to Attempts to Derail a Conversation Part 3: Additional Strategies for Responding to Derailment
October 1, 2020

It Gets Better

It Gets Better - words over coffee cup on table

I remember being in the depths of teen hood, confronted with the trials and tribulations of high school and friendship drama when I was first told that “it gets better”. I can remember a feeling of resentment, and longing for a future in which things were magically better and my problems no longer existed. I told myself that once I was 18, then things must in fact get better, because that is what I was told.

I next recall being 18 when I realized that things weren’t yet magically better. I was once again frustrated and angry. Where was the magic? Where was the problem solving? I told myself again, it must come in the future, I must not yet be old enough, maybe it’ll come once I’ve reached that magical better age.

If one could guess, the age never really came. I never reached that magical better moment. It wasn’t until I was driving home from work as a full-fledged adult one night, listening to music from that teen hood long ago that I realized things actually were finally better. I asked myself- What was it that finally made things better? Was it age? Was it time?

No. What finally made the challenges of my life better were the recognition of my challenges and the work that I put into those issues in order to find improvement. I realized that my life did in fact get better not because it finally magically happened, but because I made it happen.

It does in fact get better. But in order for it to get better, you have to make it better. Getting better takes self-reflection, and hard work. When we are in the deepest lows or facing our hardest challenges, it can sometimes feel like those issues are going to swallow us whole. It is important to remember that we have the power to face those challenges head on and overcome the obstacles we face.

In times like we are currently facing; it is understandable that we may have moments of despair and feelings of hopelessness. It is in these moments that we have to remind ourselves that it not only gets better, but we have the power to make it better ourselves.

Getting better involves recognizing the issues and challenges we are facing. It means reaching out to our supports, asking for help, and letting those who care know what they can do to support us. In order to get better we must process the root of the challenges that we face. We have to dedicate time and energy to ourselves and our healing.

Remember, it doesn’t just get better, you have the power to make changes to better your life now.

 

This is a guest blog post from SARCC Sexual Assault Counselor Holly Savini. 

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